So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
