ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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