Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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