no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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