LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
