At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
