spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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