hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
