I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
