No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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