I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
