Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize