Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
please come you make the beer taste better
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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