lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
