i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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