Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
