i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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