i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize