just tell him i said nine months
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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