Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
