he thought i was a dude.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize