At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Couch. On fire.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
