i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
