i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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