I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
