u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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