How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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