I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Also, beer. Big fan.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I have post one night stand depression
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