just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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