She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
