The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
