That's intense
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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