Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
