Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
