girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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