May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
