i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
