you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
