Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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