would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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