I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
