i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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