you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
