Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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