You smell like a Billy Joel song
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
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