My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
