I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
