I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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