Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize