ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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