dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize