Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
