theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
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how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
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I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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