party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
